A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up
Views: 896 | Category: Jews
|
Three guys are in a bar. First guy says to second guy " I'll bet you a hundred bucks that i can walk on water on that pond out back." Thinking easy money , he agrees. So they all go out back . The better holds up his hands and shouts "In the name of the father , son and holy ghost, I command these waters to hold me up." With that he proceeds to stroll around the top of the pond, without so much as a ripple. He returns to shore and collects his money . "how did you do that?" the second guy asks. "Oh it was nothing. You try it. " Not to be outdone, he proceeds to do just as he witnessed, hands up "In the name of the father son and holy ghost, I command these waters to hold me up." He then proceeds onto or rather into the lake, Bringing uncontrollable laughter from the onlookers on shore. The third guy, silent through this whole scene leans over to the second guy and says "You know Jesus you really are a prick after you've been drinking.
Views: 490 | Category: Jews
|
A story is told of a Jewish man who was
Views: 906 | Category: Jews
|
An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yardsahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers that he has a Manischevitz wine bottle.
Views: 870 | Category: Jews
|
1. The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana.
Views: 612 | Category: Jews
|
1. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
Views: 500 | Category: Jews
|
QUESTION:
Views: 515 | Category: Jews
|
A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant Jewish woman wearing the largest, and most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.
Views: 540 | Category: Jews
|
A young Jewish man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
Views: 545 | Category: Jews
|
An Israeli called the veterinarian, "Doctor, you've got to come right over! My pet dog just ate the TV remote control!"
Views: 500 | Category: Jews
|
A Jewish matchmaker singing the praises of a female client, brings an eligible young man to see her. He takes one look at her and turns away to whisper to the matchmaker.
Views: 523 | Category: Jews
|
1. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
Views: 591 | Category: Jews
|
A Hasidic Jew walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
Views: 770 | Category: Jews
|
A well off southern woman living near an army base in the deep American south wanted to do something patriotic for the boys in uniform so she decided to invite 5 officers to a party to meet the local girls.
Views: 516 | Category: Jews
|
An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel.
Views: 548 | Category: Jews
|
A Jewish homosexual is in San Francisco for Yom Kippur, and hears that there is a gay shul on Canal Street.
Views: 557 | Category: Jews
|
The President of the congregation went to visit the Rabbi in the hospital, who had just suffered a mild heart-attack.
Views: 467 | Category: Jews
|
One day, two bees are buzzing around what's left of a rose bush.
Views: 580 | Category: Jews
|
Views: 513 | Category: Jews
|
A lady approaches her rabbi and tells him, "Rabbi, I have
Views: 529 | Category: Jews
|
