Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Views: 159 | Category: Computers
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A software engineer, hardware engineer, and departmental manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes failed. The car careened out of control, bouncing off guardrails until it miraculously ground to a scraping halt along the mountainside. The occupants of the car were unhurt, but they had a problem. They were stuck halfway down the mountain in a car with no brakes.
Views: 155 | Category: Computers
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Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger, it has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw.
Views: 166 | Category: Computers
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Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
Views: 189 | Category: Computers
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Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.
Views: 197 | Category: Computers
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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
Views: 212 | Category: Computers
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The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the next planned Windows version:
Views: 286 | Category: Computers
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10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
Views: 272 | Category: Computers
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10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
Views: 250 | Category: Computers
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1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
Views: 280 | Category: Computers
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Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.
Views: 253 | Category: Computers
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The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to just keep counting.
Views: 265 | Category: Computers
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* They constantly sit there waiting to be turned on!
Views: 265 | Category: Computers
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Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
Views: 240 | Category: Computers
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"Coders do it with a routine." -- Otto Chrons
Views: 284 | Category: Computers
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Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.
Views: 215 | Category: Computers
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These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
Views: 239 | Category: Computers
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1. Picky, picky, picky, ...
Views: 203 | Category: Computers
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A Microsoft software engineer went through Army basic training. One day they are out on the firing range, and the Microsoft software engineer was having a heck of a time hitting the target downrange.
Views: 155 | Category: Computers
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