An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money.
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The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front.
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An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says:
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There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date.
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A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared the worst. He asked a senior partner whether he ought to send the judge a box of cigars.
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A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
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A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas, and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only 2 extra beds, and one person will have to sleep in the barn.
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It was a nice day at the park by the lake. Three guys were casting their lines to catch some fish and a couple were rowing in a small boat.
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A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."
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The old man was critically ill. He called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer," he said. "How much for a quickie law degree?"
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One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
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A farmhand consulted a lawyer. He had long tended the late farmer's cows, and believed they would his when the farmer died. Now the farmer's son claimed ownership.
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Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians.
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A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"
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NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth.
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The District Attorney was approaching the Suwanee River when he noticed a sign, "Caribbean Cruise--$99.00". He stopped and bought a ticket, whereupon the salesman hit him on the head, wrapped him in a rug and threw him in the river.
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There was a young couple very much in love. On the night before they were to be married, both were killed in an automobile accident.
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A lawyer went duck hunting for the first time in Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of the fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
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The funeral procession included two hearses and a man walking a dog. Several hundred people followed the man.
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Judge Bean and Lawyer Bilgeworth were riding horses. They cam upon an open stretch of country and noticed a hangman's noose dangling from a tree, solemnly waving in the breeze.
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