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Smart-ass answers

Submitted by: webmaster | Views: 273 | Category: Misc

Smart-ass Answer #1:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said,

Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Smart-ass Answer #2:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're
dead."

Smart-ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled

down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid

replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally

stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart-ass Answer #4:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,

Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge

is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up

for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car

and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got

stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran

out of gas."

and finally, the

SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's

final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses

whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked,

"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and

utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is

restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head,and

sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand."

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