What I Didn't Know Before I Had Kids |
| Submitted by: webmaster | Views: 253 | Category: Kids What I Didn't Know Before I Had Kids * Who John Jacob Jingle Heimershmitt is. * How to change a diaper in the dark, in a parked car, on a standing child and all of the above simultaneously. * Which lines of The Cat in the Hat and If I Ran the Circus can be skipped over without a child noticing. * How bright a 3 a.m. full moon is. * The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes and mitten clips. * Locations of public restrooms all across town. * Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to retrieve a lost blankie. * That tigers live in the trees in our backyard. * How to open a van door while bobbling 2 lunch boxes, two extra coats, a purse, a diaper bag and a baby. * That solid white socks get lost in the dryer at a much slower rate than do the mates of patterned socks that coordinate to special outfits. * How little sleep a human body truly needs to function. * Almost every Disney lyric ever penned. * How to spell amoxicillin, let alone say it. * That one can never own too many sippy cup lids or refrigerator magnets. * Scientific names of dinosaurs from A to Z. * That reverse psychology really works. * The recipe for a homemade version of Play-doh. * The distinctive sounds of Cheerios crunching underfoot. * Why they call them Happy meals. * How far you can dilute juice and still retain it's taste. * The blessedness of naps, the inviolate importance of routines. * How much you could love one human being! |
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