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Tips On Building A Resume

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Here's some advice to build the resume that will get you hired!

THE NAME: Use the name to your advantage. Spice it up a little bit. Steve
Smith goes nowhere fast. But Sir Stephen Smith -- now that might turn a few
heads. Nicknames also help. Mark "Keyboards" O'Malley is good. Mark
"Kegsucker" O'Malley is bad.

THE ADDRESS: Forget your real address. Make a statement instead! Saying
you're from the Bronx suggests you're tough as nails. Anyplace in Japan
implies you believe in an 18-hour-a-day work ethic!

THE PHONE NUMBER: Skip it. What are the odds they'll call -- 1,000 to 1. If
they do, they'll probably just catch your roommate somewhere in the middle
of his second six-pack. My advice is never put your phone number on a resume
unless you want to try some interesting 900 number which might wake up a
recruiter or two.

THE AMBITION STATEMENT: Forget the ambition statement. You know what I
mean:"Seeking a challenging IS position using state-of-the-art technology in
a high-growth, future-oriented corporation that is doing neat things for the
environment." A better idea is to tell them what you're NOT seeking. "Not
seeking a job where I'm paying my dues for eight years, maintaining ancient
Cobol code that crashes every other night, slaving for some horrible boss
and groveling in the smallest cubicle in the world until I finally claw my
way into a lower management position, only to have the company lay off 40%
of its work force so that I wind up in some non-critical, low-paying,
dead-end, back-office position."

EDUCATION: Don't be afraid of Yalies and PH.D.s. Be proud of where you go to
school and play it straight. But just to be on the safe side, send an
application to some prestigious high-tech program at a prestigious school.
Until they respond, you're not lying if you list under your education
credits: "BA in Watersports Administration, Massatucky State, 1993... and
current doctoral candidate, Nuclear Computer Simulation Modeling Fellowship
Program, MIT."

EXPERIENCE: Even fresh out of school, you've got to have experience. But
don't mention that you've invested in your own relational database or coded
an object-oriented commodity trading system... Everybody's done that stuff.
I'm talking about hands-on experience: high-level management, microchip
design, hostile takeovers, etc. So if you're a little light in the
experience area, don't tell lies. Instead, simply try a bit-more-concise
explanation of the experience you do have. For example, if you worked as a
cashier at Food Giant, make it, "Monitored and troubleshot retail
point-of-sale bar-code inventory scanning system." "Conducted usability
testing for graphical user interface" sounds a lot better than "played too
much Nintendo."

THE CLOSE: "References furnished upon request?" What kind of power-close is
that? Let me leave you instead with this recommendation: Close with impact.
Close with passion. Close with a line they'll remember, like "Please, please
give me a job. And by the way, I know where you live."

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