Your location: Home » Jokes » Male » Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say

Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say

Submitted by: webmaster | Views: 345 | Category: Male

* What do you mean today's our anniversary?

* Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.

* Ohh, this diamond is way too big! Don't you have something smaller?

* Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.

* I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way too much for a designer dress.

* You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

* The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper, too! I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

* Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

* While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

* Bar food again!? Kick ass.

* I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

* That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

* Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

* I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

* It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

* Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

* My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

* I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

* Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, you big silly guy!

* You are so much smarter than my father.

* If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

* Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

* I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

* You're so sexy when you're hung over.

* I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

* Let's subscribe to Hustler, my treat.

* I'll be out painting the house.

* I love it when you ride your muscle car; I just wish you had more time to ride.

* Honey, our new neighbor's 18-year-old daughter is sunbathing in the nude again, come see!

* No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

* Your mother is way better than mine.

* Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

* Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you take time off to relax?

*You need your sleep, you big silly guy, now stop getting up for the baby's night feedings.

* Look! My ass is fatter than yours!

Features: Send to a friend | Rate joke

Share/save: