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A Cowboy's Guide to Life

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Never squat with yer spurs on.

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably
a whole lot bigger'n you think.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in
your pocket.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.

Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to
make sure it's still there.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be
surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around
by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important
to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.


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