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The Top 14 Things Bill Clinton Would Say if He Were in "Star Wars"

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14. "Well, it depends on your definition of 'father', Luke."

13. "Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?"

12. "I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military... Okay, now I don't."

11. "Oh-h-h, you're looking for a little *WOOKIE*... Well, that's different."

10. "Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I'm your father, too. And that Queen chick? I'm her daddy for sure. And Leia's. And Lando's, Boba Fett's, Jabba the Hutt's, Chewie's..."

9. "Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!"

8. "I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music."

7. "Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster -- and make it look like a suicide."

6. "I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky."

5. "It's a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away -- and I'm still a lyin' weasel."

4. "Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac -- not excuses."

3. "Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work."

2. "These are not the droids you're looking for, Ma'am. Say, it's getting hot in here -- you might want to take off your top."

1. "She's my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain't an obstacle!"

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