Christmas Controversies |
| Submitted by: | Views: 200 | Category: Christmas CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake? YUPPIE: Live tree, planted after use MALE: Fake tree, discarded after use FEMALE: Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits REALITY: Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with furballs CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant? YUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm MALE: Bulbs flash logo of football team FEMALE: Elegant flickering candles REALITY: Tree bursts into flames, burns house down CONTROVERSY: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star? YUPPIE: Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype MALE: Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt FEMALE: Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas REALITY: Hell's Angel steals the tree and the gifts CONTROVERSY: Do ya fling or hang tinsel? YUPPIE: Empower each strand w/self-determining skills MALE: Six large clumps of tinsel on front of tree FEMALE: Each icicle hangs like strand of spaghetti REALITY: More icicles on floor than on tree CONTROVERSY: Do ya open gifts on Christmas Eve or Morning YUPPIE: Gifts opened on posted, individual schedules MALE: Anytime, just so it doesn't interfere with football FEMALE: Anytime the entire family is present REALITY: Doesn't matter, everyone's peeked anyway CONTROVERSY: Ham or Turkey for Christmas Dinner YUPPIE: Baked Tofu Balls stuffed with wheat germ MALE: Anything, as there's plenty of both it and beer FEMALE: A meal the entire family plans and prepares REALITY: Chinese carry-out or McDonald's |
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